Chasing Milestones

It’s a dangerous thing, talking to other mums. Without any real reason, my competitive mind turns everything I hear into a developmental target. I know, intellectually, that (within a curve) children develop at very different speeds and with milestones occurring in different sequences (which I find mind boggling, but that’s a matter for a different post). But what I know matters not; what leaps into my head whenever I hear of such an accomplishment is that little Jimmy can pull himself up on the furniture / sing the alphabet / complete quadratic equations and Young Sir can’t.

It’s a daft thing, really – it doesn’t matter (at least so long as we’re still within the curve) and I’m in no hurry to have to staple everything down to protect it from the forces of toddlerhood. And yet, there it is. But still, there goes my brain.

The worst was with food – I’ve read a fair bit about Baby Led Weaning, which is the precocious name used to refer to giving babies bits of food to feed themselves with (in lieu of the puree stage). While I don’t think there’s anything wrong with puree I am exceptionally lazy and this method of feeding my baby seemed to fit well with that. However. The reading I’ve done suggests that it’s best not to start until 6 months of age, when the gut is a bit more developed, whereas babies on puree often start a bit earlier. And so we watched all his peers smearing food goo everywhere with adorable little grins, while we impatiently waited for the opportunity to give him a bit of potato to nom on.

Now I don’t know why it mattered – Young Sir is a champion eater, and puts away an impressive amount of food – but at the time it seemed we were behind, that he might be lacking nutrients or calories or the opportunity to learn table manners (ha!)

Have you had any struggles with keeping up, or are you able to blissfully disengage from competition and enjoy watching your child’s development in its own sweet time?

Cloth Nappy Myths

Having become a bit cocky in my knowledge of cloth nappies (sorry!), I thought I'd bust a few of the myths that seem to hang around about the use and care of modern cloth nappies. I'm all about keeping life as simple as I can, and that definitely applies to nappy care.

I haven't done rigorous testing in a lab, but have done screeds and screeds of reading on various forums, cloth nappy advice websites, manufacturer websites, and probably other places so these are based on my research (and some commonsense).

Happy to be proven wrong but until such a time I am happier to stick with my simple processes and save my energy for playtime. ;-)

You need a special washing powder/liquid
This is slightly true; you should choose a laundry detergent that doesn't contain fabric softeners, as they coat fibres and reduce absorbency. Just check the package in the supermarket - usually the sensitive versions of mainstream detergents are fine, and some others are as well (we use Persil).

You can buy cloth-nappy specific detergents... But often these are weaker than normal detergent and cleaning power is important to me!

You can't use a dryer as it will destroy the PUL
Dryers reduce the life of all fabrics (and are expensive to run), so there is some logic to line drying if you can, but if you don't have a choice / time / warm enough weather the dryer will do the trick - just turn the dryer to low. Note that leaving your nappies on the line for too long can degrade fabric too!

You can't use normal nappy cream
Again, there is a grain of truth here - some nappy creams (ones with a petroleum base) will build up over time and affect the absorbency of your nappies. If you're using this kind of product (e.g. Vaseline, Pawpaw) it's recommended you use a microfleece liner to ensure the gunk doesn't get into the nappy. Sudocrem and other zinc based products may stain slightly, but shouldn't affect absorbency so long as the nappies are washed properly with the right amount of detergent and (ideally) warm water.

You need to change nappies more often
This one I rebel against. While cloth nappies are less absorbent than disposables it's unlikely you'd need the full capacity unless you are seriously negligent (I once tested a Huggies nappy to see how much water it held, and it took over 700ml!), and some cloth nappies can hold 500ml+ which should be plenty.

I'm a believer in the power of troubleshooting if something isn't working - and one of the best things about modern cloth nappies is the huge variety of fabrics and styles, which means plenty of choice. If you're getting leaks and you're not sure how to fix them seek help in a cloth nappy forum as there are lots of tweaks that can help.

I should also note that there are plenty of fabric choices these days which wick moisture away from the baby's skin, so a nappy that is wet (with otherwise good hygiene) is unlikely to cause nappy rash on its own.

(we change Young Sir's nappy about six times a day, which looks to be about average for a baby his age according to sellers of disposable nappies - thought I should put that in here before anyone reports us for negligence!)

Sunlight disinfects nappies
It's true that UV light can disinfect, but the frequency that does this is blocked by the ozone. Sun does help with bleaching out stains (though if you wash well you hopefully won't have much trouble with these) and of course it's cheaper to line dry than use the dryer. But your nappies should be properly clean before hung out, and if there is a bacterial or fungal infection afflicting your wee one best to use a proper laundry treatment like Canestan rather than leaving it up to the sun.

It's really hard work
I guess this is subjective, because we all have different chores we hate... But it's really not that hard. For us, the effort is one extra load of washing every two days, remembering to bring the dirty nappies home from daycare, and emptying soiled ones into the loo (yes, that's the worst part; but no, it's not as bad as you imagine).

It's definitely a bit of extra work, but not that much and we never have to nip down to the supermarket for more nappies, and save on rubbish bin emptying too.



If you use cloth nappies, have you encountered any myths you think need to be loudly and proudly dispelled?

Stuff you don't need for your new baby

This could be the world's longest list... But don't fret, I'm not going to list every single item you don't need - just address some of the things I think are over-rated. Most things have different values to different people, so even if I didn't find a certain thing useful it might make your life amazing and wonderful and if so you should totally get it!

1. Everything to be brand new
This isn't an item, but I do think we all need to take a deep breath and remember that a bunch of the stuff our babies are spewing and pooping on is only going to be used for five minutes (or, you know, maybe five months or five years) and spending up large on brand new items is not necessary. Sometimes it makes sense; sometimes it doesn't. Check TradeMe before you break out the credit card! Thrifty and eco-friendly, this tip is particularly good for robust larger items like cots (new mattresses are recommended though), high chairs and strollers.

2. A change table
There are a couple of options that can be used in place of a bulky, single-purpose piece of furniture. You can get one of those padded change mats with sides (see above for the sourcing strategy) and put it on top of an existing piece of furniture, like a chest of drawers. Or you can just put something waterproof on the floor. We did the latter, and while it does mean getting down on the ground (so might not work so well if you have a caesarean) it's versatile (a waterproof mat can go anywhere - you can even spring for a couple if it's easier) and doesn't take up much space.

3. Bouncinettes, rockers, swings and hammocks
These all have their uses and babies often love them - but they are by no means essential. We went without any of these, mainly because of space constraints - a different baby could have necessitated one of them but at the very least you can wait until you've met your wee one to make the call.

4. A wardrobe full of newborn clothes
It'd be a good idea to have a few clothes - and mileage varies wildly depending on how big your baby is when he or she is born (premies will get a lot more wear out of the smaller threads - my 3.7kg boy only fit the newborn size for a week or so). But you can stock up after the baby is born - start with a few basics and build up later, once you get a feel for your preferences.

5. Toys
Don't get me wrong, their day will come. But newborn babies are overwhelmed just by being, and (in the small window of awake time they have between feeding and sleeping) will be fascinated by just about anything. Lights! Walls! The pattern on their blanket! Fingers! You get the idea.

What do you think? What "essential" baby items did you do without? Or did you buy anything that then just gathered dust?