How to be an awesome Aunty (or Uncle)

I've been an aunty for three and three quarter years now - I know, nothing in the greater scheme of auntydom but a lot longer than I've been a Mum! However, the latter title has taught me a few things about the former so I thought maybe I'd share my insight for anyone who wants to up their aunty game.

Respect the parents' parenting philosophies
It's all good to be the playful and fun aunt or uncle, but keeping things happy by respecting any guidelines the parents set is a winning move. Mostly at the moment I see this in relation to sleep - when I was just an aunty I didn't understand the importance of the full length nap and willed my nephews to wake up early to play. These days I get it - and though it's a bit dull I reckon boring now is better than catastrophic tantrum later!

Knit, sew or buy fun clothes that the parents won't get for their own kids - but not too manyIt's fantastic having quirky and interesting clothing given - but also recognise that parents often have their own preferred styles for their kids (for both practical and aesthetic reasons) and probably won't want to dress them in the stuff you provide all the time.

Offer to babysit

The no brainer - if you're game - fun times with your nephews and nieces and it'll make your sibling happy because they get free time. When they're small the parents might only be happy leaving if the kids are sleeping - so you get the brownie points for no effort except for hanging out in their house. 

Don't forget that your sibling is also an interesting person
It's a common theme with new babies that 100% of the focus goes on them - and hey, they are way more adorable than most adults. But it does get old after a while only talking about your baby, especially in the first few months when they can't really do much.

These are mainly derived from stuff I've done that was probably annoying to my sister - so I guess it's fair enough if no-one pays any attention and ignores all this in relation to my own offspring! What do you think makes a great aunt or uncle?

Missing your baby (when you're with them)

We've just spent a few days staying with family. This is Young Sir's third trip (both sets of grandparents live in another city) and though I'm a big fan of him having lots of time with his extended family there's a surprising side-effect of hanging out with the rellies: I find myself missing him.

This is in no way a passive-aggressive way of asking the wonderful family members to step back - we feel very lucky to have such a large and happy family around. But as we live out of town and only see everyone periodically it's inevitably pretty full on when we do visit, and while we look forward to visiting it's also now quite nice to get home and have our own family time. I'm surprised by this - not by enjoying being with only my two best boys, but by how much I miss my baby time when we're having quality time with the grandies.

I think part of it is that Young Sir behaves very differently alone with me than he does when others are around - the world is still a pretty big and bewildering place to him, and any additional activity in the room tends to fascinate and distract. And part of it is that I know my baby's signals and others don't, so I end up fighting internal battles - do I speak up and whisk him away for a much needed nap, or let him have another 10 minutes with these important people and risk a meltdown of epic proportions if we push him a bit too far?

Really it's a minor thing - occasionally dealing with an overtired baby is a very small price to pay for the wonderful family we have, and I'm hopeful that lots of trips to stay with grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins will help Young Sir become a versatile boy who appreciates the value of relationships... But it still can be hard in the moment.

Have you experienced this bittersweet feeling?