Chasing Milestones

It’s a dangerous thing, talking to other mums. Without any real reason, my competitive mind turns everything I hear into a developmental target. I know, intellectually, that (within a curve) children develop at very different speeds and with milestones occurring in different sequences (which I find mind boggling, but that’s a matter for a different post). But what I know matters not; what leaps into my head whenever I hear of such an accomplishment is that little Jimmy can pull himself up on the furniture / sing the alphabet / complete quadratic equations and Young Sir can’t.

It’s a daft thing, really – it doesn’t matter (at least so long as we’re still within the curve) and I’m in no hurry to have to staple everything down to protect it from the forces of toddlerhood. And yet, there it is. But still, there goes my brain.

The worst was with food – I’ve read a fair bit about Baby Led Weaning, which is the precocious name used to refer to giving babies bits of food to feed themselves with (in lieu of the puree stage). While I don’t think there’s anything wrong with puree I am exceptionally lazy and this method of feeding my baby seemed to fit well with that. However. The reading I’ve done suggests that it’s best not to start until 6 months of age, when the gut is a bit more developed, whereas babies on puree often start a bit earlier. And so we watched all his peers smearing food goo everywhere with adorable little grins, while we impatiently waited for the opportunity to give him a bit of potato to nom on.

Now I don’t know why it mattered – Young Sir is a champion eater, and puts away an impressive amount of food – but at the time it seemed we were behind, that he might be lacking nutrients or calories or the opportunity to learn table manners (ha!)

Have you had any struggles with keeping up, or are you able to blissfully disengage from competition and enjoy watching your child’s development in its own sweet time?

Cloth Nappy Myths

Having become a bit cocky in my knowledge of cloth nappies (sorry!), I thought I'd bust a few of the myths that seem to hang around about the use and care of modern cloth nappies. I'm all about keeping life as simple as I can, and that definitely applies to nappy care.

I haven't done rigorous testing in a lab, but have done screeds and screeds of reading on various forums, cloth nappy advice websites, manufacturer websites, and probably other places so these are based on my research (and some commonsense).

Happy to be proven wrong but until such a time I am happier to stick with my simple processes and save my energy for playtime. ;-)

You need a special washing powder/liquid
This is slightly true; you should choose a laundry detergent that doesn't contain fabric softeners, as they coat fibres and reduce absorbency. Just check the package in the supermarket - usually the sensitive versions of mainstream detergents are fine, and some others are as well (we use Persil).

You can buy cloth-nappy specific detergents... But often these are weaker than normal detergent and cleaning power is important to me!

You can't use a dryer as it will destroy the PUL
Dryers reduce the life of all fabrics (and are expensive to run), so there is some logic to line drying if you can, but if you don't have a choice / time / warm enough weather the dryer will do the trick - just turn the dryer to low. Note that leaving your nappies on the line for too long can degrade fabric too!

You can't use normal nappy cream
Again, there is a grain of truth here - some nappy creams (ones with a petroleum base) will build up over time and affect the absorbency of your nappies. If you're using this kind of product (e.g. Vaseline, Pawpaw) it's recommended you use a microfleece liner to ensure the gunk doesn't get into the nappy. Sudocrem and other zinc based products may stain slightly, but shouldn't affect absorbency so long as the nappies are washed properly with the right amount of detergent and (ideally) warm water.

You need to change nappies more often
This one I rebel against. While cloth nappies are less absorbent than disposables it's unlikely you'd need the full capacity unless you are seriously negligent (I once tested a Huggies nappy to see how much water it held, and it took over 700ml!), and some cloth nappies can hold 500ml+ which should be plenty.

I'm a believer in the power of troubleshooting if something isn't working - and one of the best things about modern cloth nappies is the huge variety of fabrics and styles, which means plenty of choice. If you're getting leaks and you're not sure how to fix them seek help in a cloth nappy forum as there are lots of tweaks that can help.

I should also note that there are plenty of fabric choices these days which wick moisture away from the baby's skin, so a nappy that is wet (with otherwise good hygiene) is unlikely to cause nappy rash on its own.

(we change Young Sir's nappy about six times a day, which looks to be about average for a baby his age according to sellers of disposable nappies - thought I should put that in here before anyone reports us for negligence!)

Sunlight disinfects nappies
It's true that UV light can disinfect, but the frequency that does this is blocked by the ozone. Sun does help with bleaching out stains (though if you wash well you hopefully won't have much trouble with these) and of course it's cheaper to line dry than use the dryer. But your nappies should be properly clean before hung out, and if there is a bacterial or fungal infection afflicting your wee one best to use a proper laundry treatment like Canestan rather than leaving it up to the sun.

It's really hard work
I guess this is subjective, because we all have different chores we hate... But it's really not that hard. For us, the effort is one extra load of washing every two days, remembering to bring the dirty nappies home from daycare, and emptying soiled ones into the loo (yes, that's the worst part; but no, it's not as bad as you imagine).

It's definitely a bit of extra work, but not that much and we never have to nip down to the supermarket for more nappies, and save on rubbish bin emptying too.



If you use cloth nappies, have you encountered any myths you think need to be loudly and proudly dispelled?

Stuff you don't need for your new baby

This could be the world's longest list... But don't fret, I'm not going to list every single item you don't need - just address some of the things I think are over-rated. Most things have different values to different people, so even if I didn't find a certain thing useful it might make your life amazing and wonderful and if so you should totally get it!

1. Everything to be brand new
This isn't an item, but I do think we all need to take a deep breath and remember that a bunch of the stuff our babies are spewing and pooping on is only going to be used for five minutes (or, you know, maybe five months or five years) and spending up large on brand new items is not necessary. Sometimes it makes sense; sometimes it doesn't. Check TradeMe before you break out the credit card! Thrifty and eco-friendly, this tip is particularly good for robust larger items like cots (new mattresses are recommended though), high chairs and strollers.

2. A change table
There are a couple of options that can be used in place of a bulky, single-purpose piece of furniture. You can get one of those padded change mats with sides (see above for the sourcing strategy) and put it on top of an existing piece of furniture, like a chest of drawers. Or you can just put something waterproof on the floor. We did the latter, and while it does mean getting down on the ground (so might not work so well if you have a caesarean) it's versatile (a waterproof mat can go anywhere - you can even spring for a couple if it's easier) and doesn't take up much space.

3. Bouncinettes, rockers, swings and hammocks
These all have their uses and babies often love them - but they are by no means essential. We went without any of these, mainly because of space constraints - a different baby could have necessitated one of them but at the very least you can wait until you've met your wee one to make the call.

4. A wardrobe full of newborn clothes
It'd be a good idea to have a few clothes - and mileage varies wildly depending on how big your baby is when he or she is born (premies will get a lot more wear out of the smaller threads - my 3.7kg boy only fit the newborn size for a week or so). But you can stock up after the baby is born - start with a few basics and build up later, once you get a feel for your preferences.

5. Toys
Don't get me wrong, their day will come. But newborn babies are overwhelmed just by being, and (in the small window of awake time they have between feeding and sleeping) will be fascinated by just about anything. Lights! Walls! The pattern on their blanket! Fingers! You get the idea.

What do you think? What "essential" baby items did you do without? Or did you buy anything that then just gathered dust?

Pregnancy weight gain (and subsequent loss)

So here's a topic not that openly discussed, and which causes plenty of grief for lots of us. I'm getting to the end of my battle with weight for this pregnancy, so I've been thinking about it a bit.

The recommended weight gain for a normal pregnancy is 11-16kg. I'm curious though - I haven't been able to find any source for this ideal (if you can point me to info on this please do!), though it sounds reasonable... But most people I've spoken to about it have gained well over this number. I'd love to know what is normal or average!

In the interest of full disclosure, and despite staying very fit and active through my pregnancy, I gained 30kg. Yup, that's double what I should have laid down. I started strong on the hot chips in the first trimester (when you're not supposed to be gaining weight at all because the baby is the size of a poppy seed/lentil/grape), and just kept amping it all the way through.

I knew I was gaining too much, but didn't seem to be able to slow it down - but here's the thing; I've lost almost all of it (29kg - so close!) already. I've been working at it, sure, but I wonder if physiologically I'm just set up this way - it seems easier than it should be. Or maybe it's the breastfeeding. So hard to know. Especially because I haven't been able to find much info on how the ideal range was defined.

I switched midwives mid-pregnancy, mainly because of how my first midwife spoke to me about my weight gain. After telling me early on to relax and not worry about it (I had flagged it as a concern), she suddenly noticed at my 26 week check up that I had gained quite a bit, and gave me a hard time and made me feel pretty awful about it. She also told me (after grilling me on my exercise habits) that I shouldn't be lifting weights anymore and should be easing back on other exercise. At the time I believed her about my weight, but her comments on exercise opposed what I had read at the start of pregnancy (because, unsurprisingly, I didn't want to compromise my baby's health!) and I lost my trust in her.

Emily Oster covered weight gain in her excellent book, Expecting Better - from the data she found her conclusion was that you're probably better to gain too much than too little (complications for little babies are usually more serious than those for big babies).

There are definitely compelling reasons to try to keep the gain to a minimum - gestational diabetes is worth avoiding if you can, and gaining too much is likely to result in your baby being a bit bigger than average. If you're healthy you'll probably have an easier time bouncing back from the birth - not to mention the less you gain the quicker you'll be able to wear your old clothes again!

But overall I can't help but feel that, much as I would have liked to have had a compact little bump and jumped back into my pre-pregnancy jeans, it all seems to have worked out, that there was no need for drama, and perhaps we all need to give ourselves a bit of a break.

What do you think - did you gain more than you would have liked, were you a small-bump person, or do you have another experience you'd like to share? Do you agree with me or am I just trying to justify my chip habit? ;-)

Work/Life Balance (i.e. rejoining the workforce)

I've been a bit quiet for the last couple of weeks, largely due to my much anticipated return to work. Sorry 'bout that! Thanks for bearing with me while I get my stride.

I think working out the ideal work/life balance for your family is one of those things that is both reasonably unpredictable and also prone to change over time. I guessed that I would relish my full year of parental leave, so had put in leave until June. But once Young Sir was reliably sleeping through the night (don't get me wrong, there are no guarantees, but most of the time he does) it didn't take me long to get itchy feet - I couldn't wait to get back to work.

I still wasn't keen to work full time and have been able to negotiate (until June - then we'll see what happens) to work 20 hours a week, spread over three days. Right now, this seems pretty much perfect to me - I'm really enjoying being back in the working world, but I still get two weekdays at home with my baby, and finish work mid-afternoon on the other days.

I know I'm lucky in the flexibility I have at the moment - though I think employers who refuse flexible working arrangements probably lose out on some great employees... But at the same time I recognise that it's hard for employers to juggle part timers in roles where most folk are full time.

Of course, the ideal for me right now is probably different from your ideal right now - and indeed from my ideal six months from now.

Have you found a balance that works for you and your family? Did it take some tweaking or did you instinctively know what would work? Or do you just make it work?

How to wash modern cloth nappies

There is a lot of talk about how to wash your cloth nappies in internet land, and as with everything on the internet, there's plenty of nonsense mixed into the good advice.

I have recently discovered the Fluff Love University website, which I consider really good advice. It has heaps of really in-depth info about cloth nappy cleaning, along with a well-attended Facebook page offering tailored advice to those with problems. The most frequent problem seems be people using either not enough detergent or detergent that is too weak, which can lead to (among other things) ammonia burn on your baby's bottom from urine building up in the nappies. Severely suboptimal!

Because I wouldn't wish that on any baby (or parent) I thought I'd share our washing routine. This is based on the principles found on the Fluff Love Uni site (though we had this mostly in place before I discovered the site), and works well for us - we have very little nappy rash, our nappies don't stink (unless, uh, they have good reason to) and the process is very easy.

1. Remove excess solids if required. 

I know, ew, but it's important. This is only relevant once your baby is eating actual food, as before then their output is fully water soluble. There are various methods for this; the easiest is using disposable liners, which you can then bin (pro tip from plumbers: don't put these in the toilet if you can help it - can cause blocked drains). Other options include flushing the nappy (or washable liner) in the loo; using a nappy sprayer; or using some kind of scraping tool.

We prefer to do this soon after the nappy change but depending on your preferences and setup you can wait until you're putting the wash on.

Now that we've got the worst bit out of the way...

2. Put nappies in washing machine

This step is easy, especially if you use a bin liner wetbag you can just upend into the machine.

3. Add detergent

Preferably without fabric softeners (as they coat fibres to keep 'em soft, so can inhibit absorbency), but otherwise pick your favourite (or cheapest) supermarket brand. You want your nappies to get clean so a good detergent, and the recommended amount, is important here. Detergent doesn't build up in nappies so don't be shy! If you're worried about cleanliness Persil is the Consumer NZ choice for best laundry detergent.

4. Pre rinse

If your machine can't do this without adding the detergent you might need to reverse these two steps. This step removes most of the soiling from the nappies so that the cleaning step can get a better clean. Some people skip this and have no trouble, but it makes sense to me that a quick rinse first will get better results so we do.

5. Wash 

Ideally you'd do a warm wash but many people have success with cold. We tend to do ours at 40C. Evidently temperatures over 60C can damage PUL (the waterproof stuff) over time so best avoid the 95 degree cycle. Don't skimp on the wash but no need to go overboard either - keep it simple.

Many machines can have the pre-rinse programmed in at the beginning of the wash cycle so that steps 4 and 5 merge together - as if it wasn't already easy enough!

6. Dry

On the clothesline is ideal but inside on a rack or in the dryer is fine too. The sun has magical bleaching powers but its antibacterial abilities are compromised since the UV-C rays you need for that are blocked by the atmosphere (i.e. make sure your nappies are clean before hanging them out - well, duh!).


So that's how we do it - a bit boring but hopefully useful to someone out there wondering if they need to buy fancy-pants cloth nappy "safe" detergent.

Do you have any tips to add?

Naming a baby - first name edition

New Zealand's most popular baby names of 2014 have just been announced by the Department of Internal Affairs, which I always find interesting and particularly so this year, since we contributed to the list.

Naming a baby is a pretty daunting undertaking - it's kind of a long-term decision. We treated it like we do most other things, which is to say, we read all sorts of information and looked at (too much) data and made lists. Not everyone will take our approach but I thought I'd share our thought process.

We wanted a name we both liked
The obvious first! I read somewhere that you never realise how many people you don't like until you try to name a baby. We didn't veto too many this way but it was interesting how easy it was to strike quite a lot of names out immediately as one or the other of us just didn't like it.

We wanted something easy to spell and pronounce
Keeping it simple... But actually we haven't quite succeeded because it turns out that there is another way to pronounce our boy's first name that we weren't aware of until after we'd given it to him. It wouldn't have changed our choice but we thought we were safe on that front!

It had to work with our surname
A friend said to me the best way to test a name was to go to the back door and yell it into the yard a few times. The neighbours might think you're nuts but you'll get to hear how it sounds... And let's be honest, that's about the only time you use middle names, right? We also were keen to avoid awkward initials and I had a weird obsession with the rhythm which, once we'd chosen a short first name, had me seeking a middle name with at least three syllables. I don't know either. I'm weird.

We wanted something that wasn't too popular... Or too rare
Picky, I know. We found a really cool tool called NameVoyager which maps popularity of names over time - it's US data so not quite applicable here but still very interesting. Go and type in your name - you might be surprised at the trends (for example, in the late 1800s Elizabeth was sometimes used as a boys' name). We actually used the graph from this site in our birth announcement. We're nerds.

Closer to home we checked out the DIA name lists, and struck out a few names for popularity.

Though as with any decision where there are too many options one needs some arbitrary conditions to narrow the field, the popularity condition is not really terribly important these days - even the most popular names aren't used by that many people. Young Sir's name comes in at #89 on the DIA list, with 49 other little New Zealanders sharing it with him. Even when added to the longer version of the name (#63) there are still only 121 kids his age in the country with that name, so the chance of one being in his class are pretty slim. Apparently in the US in 1880 25% of boys were given one of the top four names; now it's less than 4%. We're all a whole lot more creative than we used to be!

If you're looking for a baby name sometime soon you might find some of this useful - or you might have a completely different set of criteria. So long as you end up with something that works for your child it doesn't really matter!

If you have kids how did you choose their names?

BumGenius Freetime AIO Review

This is one of the biggest nappy brands, and was the nappy often rated top of American AIO reviews (which is to say, most of the reviews I could find online) so it definitely needed to be trialled. The Freetime is made from synthetic fibres, and has a sister nappy called the Elemental, whose absorbency is from natural fibres - I had assumed when I purchased the Freetime that the inners were the same design but that turns out not to be the case, so if you're interested in the Elemental this review is not likely to be very relevant (and I might try it out somewhere down the line). 

Anyway, on to the review.

Nappy construction: PUL outer, microfibre inner with wicking microsuede lining. Two sets of domes to adjust rise for smaller babies. My 7kg baby fits the middle setting well. Laundry tabs are actually very soft squares of fabric so that even if they rub against your baby’s skin they’ll be comfortable but I prefer the proper loop stuff as it holds on better. Two soaker flaps are attached at either end - this makes for quick drying but also makes removing solids trickier. The double flap system means no troubles with unwieldy soakers on smaller settings as they overlap in the middle. Each soaker has a pocket on the back but these are small so probably more for airflow than stuffing. The seam joining the absorbent inner to the PUL allows the absorbent fabric to show if you're not very careful putting it on - which means wicking and leaking is more possible than I'd like! 

Nappy weight (dry): 132g

Price: $34.50 (middle of the range)

Ease of use: Love the fit - great stretchy waistband and seems to be well designed (apart from the potential leak zone in the leg)

Absorbency: ~254ml – at the lower end of the range but still likely to be plenty for most babies. 

Drying time: Very quick – within one hour on the line on a sunny day.

Leakproofness: Average - potential for wicking at the leg meant I did experience a leak with this nappy. This might be able to be avoiding with careful adjusting at each change but I'm opting for AIOs as an easy option and want anyone to be able to change my child's nappies without a lesson so this is a dealbreaker for me. Other than the leg the fit was great so waistband leaks would be unlikely. 

Conclusion: This nappy is made from quality materials but unfortunately the probability of leaks takes it right off my list. It comes in lots of awesome prints and colours and the price isn't too high, so if you think you're more patient making sure the nappy is on each time it could work well - but I think there are better options out there. 

BumGenius Freetime nappies are available from Nappy Heaven for $34.50 each ($36.95 for prints). 

Great (and not so great) newborn gifts

I hope you've had a marvellous Christmas and a bit of a break somewhere in there. We've just arrived home from time spent with family, which was lovely but glad now to be back home. We have another week and a half before we're back to work so looking forward to some "just us" family time.

Since we've just got home I'm catching up on my life admin, and I seem to know lots of people with babies due in the next few months, which is awesome but has got me thinking (now that I've been on the receiving end) about the best gifts to give someone with a newborn.

Like many elements of babyland (and other kinds of gift-giving), baby gift concepts are often overtaken by convincing advertising and completely overlook actual benefit. So I thought I'd list out what I think some of the better options for baby gifts are, and some of the things I will henceforth be avoiding giving with my newfound mumtelligence.

Great gifts

• Woolly hats, cotton beanies and sunhats - it's nice to have a few of each so they can be stashed in convenient places. 
• Knitted cardigans and vests - lovely to have some cute woollies! We loved everything that was knitted for us. But do think about size and season - preferably avoid newborn as they won't go out much and will usually be bundled in a blanket when they do. :-) 
• Tasty things for Mum & Dad - definitely nice as a new parent to know you haven't been forgotten, and it's great to have some treats on hand for the endless feeds in the early days. Up the ante and bake some lactation cookies if you're feeling inspired. 
• Lamington socks - the best socks! And since they're kinda pricey but completely adorable a pair of these is a great small gift, or couple with a hat or something for Mum & Dad to round it out. 
• Your favourite cloth nappy - obviously I don't mean your actual favourite one, but a new one of your favourite kind... Or, even better if you can swing it, a voucher for a nappy retailer and a loan of some of your stash so the recipient can try before they buy. 

  

  My favourite cloth nappy -
  Thirsties One Size All In One

• Cloth wipes - even if not using cloth nappies these can be used for any number of purposes, and if you're handy with a sewing machine you can make these very cheaply and easily. 
• Cloth breast pads - might depend on your relationship to the recipient as this might be weird with someone not so close, but I was given some of these, they're great, and I wouldn't have thought of getting them myself as disposable is the default. As above, very easy to DIY too. 
• Time - cliche but true. Anything that helps is awesome, whether it's giving a hand conquering Mt Laundry or delivering a pre-cooked meal. Maybe hold off on babysitting offers for a while though - mileage may vary but maternal hormones usually make new Mums want to stick close to their little people. 

Things to think twice about 

(I'm not saying these should never be given, just that perhaps a little more consideration should be applied before you purchase)

• Newborn clothing - most babies grow out of this very quickly and some never fit the newborn size at all. Larger sizes are great - 0-3 months will fit most babies pretty quickly and sizes from 6 months up last much longer as the pace of growth slows dramatically. 
• Booties - super popular as a gift, but (honestly) not that practical. We were given heaps and didn't get much wear out of them - Young Sir tended to kick them off within seconds, so we mostly used his Lamington socks, which stay firmly put. There are exceptions - some clever designs solve for fallingoffitis but in general I'd steer clear. The same goes for baby shoes (but some people are willing to put up with the hassle for the cute factor). 
• Baby jeans. Super cute (and I gave these to quite a few people in my pre-baby life, sorry friends with older babies than mine!) but very impractical. I bought a pair for Young Sir and he wore them once - they were so annoying to put on and take off. Next time perhaps we'll go with baby jeggings instead! 
• Stuffed toys - cute but that's about it. Cool teething toys are a much better bet if you want to go with something to play with - but as with jeans, some people do like stuffed toys so know your audience (and we got one that was super cool and meaningful so again, not a solid rule!).

So those are my thoughts... What do you think? Anything you'd add to or remove from either list?

Naming a baby - the surname edition

With many different family configuration options in our flexible world, there are lots of options for family surnames. This is something I still think on quite a bit, even though we've made (and are happy with) our family name decision so I thought I'd share our thinking - and I'd love to hear your thoughts.

As with many of the options available in life this is one where different answers are right for different people (and even the same people at different times).

I consider myself a feminist (as does my husband) and we're both pretty liberal in general - apart from the fact that I am better endowed to grow and (initially) feed an infant, we're equals (just in case any male readers are feeling left out of baby growing, don't worry, it has both pros and cons, and as my husband helpfully informed our antenatal group, it is technically possible* for men to breastfeed... ). So when we were planning our wedding, the surname factor was extensively discussed.

In the end I adopted his family name. Here were the deciding factors for us:

We wanted our whole family to share the same name
This is definitely not required, but seems easy, and if you've taken anything from this blog hopefully it's that generally I like the easy option. ;-) Mainly this just removes inconsequential but slightly awkward confusions from everyday life - like letters addressed to the wrong combination of names, or teachers who assume you share a surname with your child.

We didn't want a long name
My previous surname is nine letters long. Although that doesn't rule out hyphenation as an option it seemed unwieldy.

He was happy to adopt my name
I'm a contrarian. If he had insisted I take his name I would have refused. But he was happy to so it could have been decided by a coin toss if we hadn't come to an agreement (perhaps that's what we should have done!).

Hybrid names didn't really work for us
We did spend quite a while thinking about ways to mash our names together to make a new name that represented us - but the options seemed likely to make us (and our then hypothetical progeny) a laughingstock.

I can completely see how others could come to opposite conclusions on any or all of our criteria - that's what makes this such an interesting world to live in! But that was our logic, and it works for us.

What's your family surname configuration and why did you choose to do it that way?




*This would likely require some hormone treatment and a well above average commitment to the cause - but the potential is there. He hasn't offered though! 

Imagine OSFM Stay Dry AIO

This nappy’s low price intrigued me – I generally believe that you get what you pay for so I didn’t have great hopes but as it was only just over half the price of the most expensive nappies I was trialling it seemed worth a shot. And I have to say, given the price I think it’s a pretty sound nappy, though not one I’ll be stocking up on. 

Here’s the lowdown:

Nappy construction: PUL outer, fleece inner with fleece-lined microfibre soaker. Two sets of domes to adjust rise for smaller babies. My 7kg baby fits the middle setting well. Laundry tabs are actually small pieces of fleece - this means even if they rub against your baby’s skin they’ll be comfortable but I prefer the proper loop stuff personally. The soaker pad is attached at the front and this is actually what I’d call an AI2 (All In 2) as it is attached by snaps – but it never came off in the wash for me so acted as an AIO (I guess it gives you flexibility to upgrade to a more absorbent soaker if you need to). The soaker is a reasonably good fit but you need to be vigilant that it’s fully contained once the nappy is done up as I occasionally ended up with bits poking out. Lining is fully attached (no pocket) so if boosting was required the additional pads would just be laid in the nappy. The PUL feels as nice to me as that on the most expensive nappies I tried.

Nappy weight (dry): 111g

Price: $22.50 – very inexpensive for an AIO!

Ease of use: Unfortunately a bit tricky to put on snugly – we found that we always had to make adjustments when putting it on to avoid gappiness. This is really the only substantive problem with this nappy and as you can spend a little extra time making sure it is on well it’s completely workable – but perhaps not so good for other carers, e.g. daycare.

Absorbency: ~292ml – middle of the field and would be plenty for most babies.

Drying time: Reasonably quick – within two hours on the line on a sunny day.

Leakproofness: Good – no leaks experienced with snug fit – just takes a little more effort to get the fit right.

Conclusion: This nappy is a strong contender and does everything a nappy needs to at an extremely good price. It’s probably best suited to people who will mostly be the ones in control of nappy changes themselves, due to the slightly tricky fit, and does take a little longer to dry. It also only comes in four prints – but really that’s a minor concern in my book (and the Ring A Ding print pictured above is perfectly acceptable!).


Imagine Staydry AIO nappies are available from Nappy Heaven for $22.50. 

There is no normal!

The thing I hated most when pregnant was being told there was no normal. "They're all different..." "You can't plan for it..." "You just have to take it as it comes..."

I like to know facts, figures, stats, so this approach doesn't really work for me. I like to think I'm pretty good at not getting too attached to specifics like, say, an estimated due date (it helps that Young Sir arrived a few days before his, of course!) but framing up a general expectation so I'm not taken completely by surprise. Whether or not I succeed in not getting attached is somewhat subjective, but at the least I feel more in control when I've got some facts behind me. 

The 'no normal' phrase started niggling me when we were learning about labour at our antenatal class. I understand why it was used - there is huge variation in how things pan out - but the lack of any hard numbers (give me the range and maybe some percentages and I'm happy) made it very hard to understand what to expect.

It didn't stop at antenatal class though - I often ask questions in order to obtain the data I'm interested in, and was told many times in pregnancy to stop worrying (which I wasn't) or that I wouldn't be able to use data to predict my own outcomes (not my plan). My midwife was extremely taken aback when I asked her the complications most likely to occur in my labour - she didn't want to scare me (and the explanations she gave were fortunately not relevant to us) but knowing the path for resolving the stuff most likely to go wrong calmed me. 

Between my incessant (and probably annoying!) questions and because I read a lot about every current obsession (which pregnancy certainly was for me at the time) I was reasonably well informed. The only bit of my labour that was in any way surprising to me was the length of the pushing stage - and apparently mine (about 2 hours) was very normal for a first timer. But I have heard plenty of stories from women who had a really rough time because they had no idea what to expect - and I wonder if that might be helped a bit if real data was provided.  

Anyway, it is true what they say - there is so much variation that there is no "normal" in pregnancy, childbirth and parenting... But there are still averages! 

(Emily Oster's excellent book "Expecting Better " helped me with data on the pregnancy side and I highly recommend it if you are like me and want to understand risks and probabilities)

Do you like to know the numbers or are you happy just taking life as it comes? 

Thirsties One Size All in One Review

I was keen to try this nappy as we currently use and love the Thirsties Duo wraps with our fitted nappies, and they are pretty much bombproof due to a snug fit and the excellent leg gusset. Unfortunately (for reasons which remain a mystery to me) they decided not to bother with the gusset on the new all in one but it's still a pretty good nappy.

I heard someone refer to all-in-ones as the "gateway nappy" of the modern cloth nappy world and this one really ticks that box - really similar to a disposable in how it's used and therefore very simple for anyone to work out (I actually find these easier to put on than disposables).

Nappy construction: PUL shell with microfibre lining and insert. Two sets of domes to adjust rise for smaller babies. My 7kg baby fits the middle setting well. Laundry tabs are immediately adjacent to velcro/aplix, so unlikely to rub against skin and easy to stick straight down when taking the nappy off. Soaker pad is attached at the front and sits nicely within the nappy both length and widthwise. Lining is fully attached (no pocket) so if boosting was required the additional pads would just be laid in the nappy. Very trim!

Nappy weight (dry): 101g

Price: ~$34 (purchased from Amazon so dependent on exchange rate. Nappy Heaven can order these in for a very similar price so enquire if you want to buy locally). 

Ease of use: Extremely easy – very stretchy elastic, strong velcro/aplix, soaker easily contained within the nappy (no folding or tucking needed). 

Absorbency: ~250ml – the worst in my test but still a pretty decent amount of liquid!

Drying time: Extremely quick – under an hour on the line.

Leakproofness: Good  - no leaks experienced and fit is very snug.

Conclusion: My top criteria for nappies is that they hold everything in - which this does easily for my boy. After that comes ease of use and this is as easy as it comes - so this is my favourite out of the nappies I've tried. I also like the price tag - though not the cheapest nappy available I think it performs as well as the $40 nappies - and it comes in some nice prints and colours too.

My only concern is that it is lighter on absorbency than some, so I hope it'll hold up as Young Sir grows - but only time will tell us that!

[Edit: at around seven months of age Young Sir started wetting through these nappies at the front, so I am currently researching the best booster options. I'll report back when I've found a good system!)


I bought this from Amazon, which ships these directly to New Zealand at very reasonable rates. I have since discovered that Nappy Heaven is able to provide these by special order at about the same price - so you have options should you want to buy! 

The Great All-In-One Cloth Nappy Review

Though I love our Snazzipants / Thirsties Duo nappy system it is a sized system – both parts will only last to around 10 months by my sister’s estimation (depending on baby size), and because it is a two-part system it takes longer to put on which I know will get harder as Young Sir gets more mobile.

So I decided I wanted a foolproof, awesome system for the next stage. Because I’m lazy I want something that doesn’t involve assembly (rules out pocket nappies and snap-in varieties) and because I want other people to be able to change my baby’s nappy without a lesson it needs to be simple to put on. This basically leaves the category of modern cloth nappies known as All In Ones (hereafter referred to as AIOs). 

There are lots of great AIOs out there but pocket nappies still seem to be more common among cloth nappy aficionados. AIOs traditionally take longer to dry, but the newer ones have largely resolved this with inserts that fold out to dry rather than being fully attached. And though I’ve found plenty of reviews online I haven’t found many comparative reviews that rate the AIO options readily available to me right now. And so I've done my own testing, and these are my findings! 

Selection process:

In order to be considered, nappies had to:

• Be a One Size Fits All/Most (OSFA/OSFM) AIO nappy
• Have a Velcro / Aplix / Hook & Loop fastening option (I prefer this over snaps)
• Be available in New Zealand or easily available from overseas with reasonable shipping rates

Other preferred (but not compulsory) features included:

• PUL outer (I prefer this over minky, which seems to be the other main option for outers)
• Double leg gusset (the Thirsties Duo covers have this and it seems pretty much completely leakproof)
• Cheap! (hahahahaha… This was wishful thinking)
• Cool prints and colours (definitely not a pre-requisite – these are nappies, people! – but I’d be lying if I said I don’t care at all)

The contenders:

Blueberry One-Size Simplex AIO

Pikapu AIO

Imagine OSFM Stay Dry AIO

Totsbots Easyfit v4 

Thirsties One Size All in One

BumGenius Freetime 4.0

Other popular AIOs include Grovia and Bambooty, but both only offer snap fastening which doesn’t suit us. If it works for you though, I have heard good things about both so they may be worth considering.

Review process: 

Not scientific but hopefully somewhat controlled! My methods are as follows: 

Prep - I purchased one of each type of nappy and did pre-washes as recommended to reach full absorbency. 

Usage - I tried each nappy several times on Young Sir - some were instantly more favoured than others but I gave them all a good shot. It's worth noting here that a lot of nappy preference comes down to fit so my findings might give you a good idea of what you like but might not tell you for sure - I definitely recommend trying one nappy out on your uniquely proportioned small person before stocking up. 

Absorbency - I tested absorbency with water and a set of scales - I weighed each nappy dry, then completely saturated them, gently wrung (as sopping wet nappies wouldn't hold the liquid in when worn) and weighed them. All held at least a cup (250ml) of water, which I think is pretty amazing so for most babies any of these would likely be absorbent enough during the day, but for heavy wetters or possibly for night time it's good to know the heavy duty option. 

Drying time - I didn't time drying but rather just checked my washing at intervals and noted which dried quickest - full marks to those that were dry the first time I checked the line. All of the nappies dried more quickly than the Snazzipants fitteds we have been using up until now so I think they're all pretty good. 

Leakproofness - this is fairly subjective since only one of the nappies came close to leaking - but I don't think any of these would be perfect for newborn poosplosions - if I was using them on a newborn I might still use a cover over the top just in case (at least when out). 

Nappy (click links for detailed reviews)	Price*	Easy to put on (/5)	Absorbent (/5)	Drying time (/5)	Leakproofness (/5)	Comments
Totsbots Easyfit v4	$38.90	4	5	4	4	Pop-in insert required for absorbency but sometimes detaches in the wash. Bulkiest fit.
Pikapu AIO	$32.95	3	5	5	4	Fabrics feel cheaper – don’t think it would last as long (can’t verify this). Only option with a double leg gusset. Fit is a bit strange – gappy at the front and often needs adjusting. Velcro is not very strong.
BumGenius Freetime 4.0	$33.50	5	3	5	3	Love the fit but the seam joining the absorbent inside to the PUL at the leg permits some wicking when the nappy is soiled. Having a flap at either end makes it tricky to de-poop without things getting messy.
Thirsties One Size All in One	$33.09 (including shipping from Amazon)	5	3	5	4	Very trim. Great fit. Not super absorbent (needed boosting for us after about 7 months).
Imagine OSFM Stay Dry AIO	$22.50	3	4	4	4	Tricky to get good fit but very cheap. Soaker snaps out so actually All-in-2 though so far has stayed together in the wash.
Blueberry One-Size Simplex AIO	$39.90	5	3	3	4	Excellent, easy fit. Cotton inner takes longer to dry. Insert is too long when rise snaps are done up so needs to be folded over = extra bulk.

*Full retail price excluding shipping but at most this was $5-6 and is often waived.

I had high hopes for the BumGenius Freetime starting out but its slightly poor leg construction had it relegated out of the game reasonably early – about the time I had to make a dash for the changing station after hearing an ominous gurgling sound and noticing a little, uh, seepage at the leg. First and foremost for me in the cloth nappy scoring game is always going to be that they hold everything in.

I had a leak with the Totsbots Easyfit v4 when we optimistically tried it without the insert. With the insert it’s been fine so far but the insert easily makes it the bulkiest of the lot. 

The Imagine and Pikapu nappies both have a cheaper feel – the Pikapu more so, with both fleece and PUL (the outer) feeling quite cheap. I’m a fabric snob… But I could get past the fabric (especially on the Imagine, which costs so much less) if they had a better fit. But both take a bit of adjusting (at least on my boy) to avoid gappiness at the tummy and around the legs, and that doesn’t seem daycare and grandparentproof.

Drying time used to be the nemesis of AIO nappies, but a little design goes a long way to solving this. I found the Thirsties, Pikapu and BumGenius nappies all dried extremely quickly, with the Blueberry nappy the slowest by a long way due to the cotton lining. 

L-R; Pikapu AIO; Imagine AIO; BumGenius Freetime; Totsbots Easyfit v4; Blueberry Simplex AIO; Thirsties One Size AIO

My sister pointed out that although we don’t need it now, the rise on these nappies can become key depending on the size of your toddler when they are ready (or not!) to use the toilet. I compared them all, and though it’s hard to see in the photo due to the elastic, the Thirsties is the largest and the Pikapu is the smallest. The total difference was perhaps 2cm between smallest and largest, so the increments are pretty small – but 1cm might get you an extra month of them fitting your toddler. 

Young Sir also prefers the Thirsties
nappy (note that we only let him
chew on clean nappies!)

Result

All these nappies will do the job they're supposed to reasonably well. My pick of the bunch is the Thirsties One Size AIO, as it is extremely trim, has a great fit, and is not too pricey. However, it is not as absorbent so may need boosting. The Totsbots Easyfit v4 and the Blueberry Simplex were also both great but quite a bit pricier, and both had minor niggles for me. The Imagine nappy I think is an excellent cheaper option - just didn't meet my ease-of-use criteria. 

I will do a more detailed review of each nappy over the next week or so and will link those into the table above when complete - but this is the key stuff! Hopefully it's helpful. Have you tried any of these nappies? 

How to be an awesome Aunty (or Uncle)

I've been an aunty for three and three quarter years now - I know, nothing in the greater scheme of auntydom but a lot longer than I've been a Mum! However, the latter title has taught me a few things about the former so I thought maybe I'd share my insight for anyone who wants to up their aunty game.

Respect the parents' parenting philosophies
It's all good to be the playful and fun aunt or uncle, but keeping things happy by respecting any guidelines the parents set is a winning move. Mostly at the moment I see this in relation to sleep - when I was just an aunty I didn't understand the importance of the full length nap and willed my nephews to wake up early to play. These days I get it - and though it's a bit dull I reckon boring now is better than catastrophic tantrum later!

Knit, sew or buy fun clothes that the parents won't get for their own kids - but not too manyIt's fantastic having quirky and interesting clothing given - but also recognise that parents often have their own preferred styles for their kids (for both practical and aesthetic reasons) and probably won't want to dress them in the stuff you provide all the time.

Offer to babysit

The no brainer - if you're game - fun times with your nephews and nieces and it'll make your sibling happy because they get free time. When they're small the parents might only be happy leaving if the kids are sleeping - so you get the brownie points for no effort except for hanging out in their house. 

Don't forget that your sibling is also an interesting person
It's a common theme with new babies that 100% of the focus goes on them - and hey, they are way more adorable than most adults. But it does get old after a while only talking about your baby, especially in the first few months when they can't really do much.

These are mainly derived from stuff I've done that was probably annoying to my sister - so I guess it's fair enough if no-one pays any attention and ignores all this in relation to my own offspring! What do you think makes a great aunt or uncle?

Losing my hair (hopefully not all of it!)

Things no-one tells you about pregnancy and childbirth #73 - the impact on your hair.

I (fortunately) had read a little bit about this while pregnant - it's quite common for your normal hair loss to slow down during pregnancy, so your hair gets thicker and your drains don't get as clogged. And then, sometime after your baby is born, your body realises it needs to do some shedding and it starts coming out thick and fast.

But I thought I had dodged the bullet; I didn't notice my hair getting thicker during pregnancy, and I couldn't tell if it was falling out less (I have short hair which I think makes both less noticeable). And I'd assumed the post-natal stuff happened pretty quickly after the birth.

So last week when I noticed that there was hair all over the bath I was taken by surprise - because I thought this feature had passed me by. But then I noticed every time I ran my hands through my hair I'd get quite a few strands. And they started showing up on my pillow and on Young Sir. So yup - my hair is definitely saying goodbye.

I'm not worried, because I know I'm only shedding what my body was holding on to - but I am pretty glad I was pre-informed else I might have freaked out a little when I saw this this morning:

The only question I have is: why do none of the greys fall out? I wouldn't miss them!

The El Cheapo guide to bathing a baby

Because of our tiny house I spent a while researching compact baby baths, since every “must-have” list told me I needed one. There are some pretty cool solutions out there – like the Boon collapsible one, or the bath divider that fits in your tub so you only have to half fill it. But unfortunately these all tend to be kinda costly and I was really looking for something cheaper. And the traditional ones take up a lot of space we just don’t have.

I’ve now come to the conclusion that there’s no need for a dedicated baby bath at all.

We sort of had one for the first few weeks – our laundry basket is a black plastic tub that worked out to be a pretty good size for a newborn bath, so we filled it up and had benchtop baths. It was unwieldy to empty though – and if we hadn’t had it I probably would have given the kitchen sink a good clean and used that.

As Young Sir has almost doubled in size since this photo was taken he no longer fits in his box

After a few weeks we worked out that it’s awesome fun to bath with the baby. Now, you do have to sit in the same bathwater as the baby in order to achieve this, and the likelihood of your baby peeing in the bath is approximately 100%, so there is a slight ick factor. There is also the chance of a poonami, which would be truly gross and I understand if you’re not willing to take that risk. It hasn’t happened to us, and I figure the shower is right there in case of emergency (likely to be accompanied by a dance of ickiness – similar to the creepy crawly dance - surely I'm not the only one who does that?)… But the risk is there.

However. Young Sir really likes kicking around in the deep water, and it’s much easier sitting in the tub than leaning over the side. So that’s a good option.

The other option is the shower. It sounds treacherous but honestly – easier than filling a tub and the baby is only the same amount of slippery. It’s easiest as a two person job – getting in and out is simpler with an extra set of hands to pass the baby to – but completely doable solo as well. If I’m on my own I get Young Sir ready, wrap him in a towel and pop him on the floor, shower myself, pick him up and get him clean, turn shower off, wrap him in a towel, put him back on the floor while I get sorted, then dry him off and get him dressed. Like everything this will get harder when he gets mobile… But for now we’re good!

As for the other baby bath stuff you ‘need’ – the hooded towels are nice and quite cute, and we got given several, but regular towels (astonishingly) also work just fine. Washcloths are handy – when Young Sir was very little we used a muslin as the cloth is a bit softer, but now we just use the regular flannels we already had.

We don’t use much in the way of shampoo or soap (he’s mostly bald and doesn’t get very dirty!) and we have a few samples we got from I-don’t-know-where which do the trick if we do want more than water. By the time we’ve used those up he’ll probably be fine with our normal shower stuff! Toys are completely optional (and reasonably useless in the shower) – Young Sir was given a set of squirty bath toys and he loves them, but he also loves flannels and splashy water so the toys are optional.

So basically… We’re lazy and cheap, but it works for us and our baby seems happy and clean. Happy days!

Where do you bath your baby? Have you tried showering them?